Monday, June 22, 2020

Mixed feelings

To the recent self
You made a great decision. You are going to pursue another certificate in your life.
-Advanced diploma in peri anaesthesia course. -
'I know my path. I know what I want.'
Really?
Anyway, I still don't feel good. Mood swing these days. Stressed.
I don't know what makes me so stress. 😅
Hard to be happy recently. Why tho?

Wednesday, June 10, 2020

2020

Hi, long lost blog.
Here I am again. I guess I need to ventilate. This year is not a good year at all. Covid-19 year. Everywhere locked down. Stress level very high.

Do you want to know if I am happy? I'm not. Palpitations, insomnia, body aching are the signs of aging? Maybe. 29 this year. Nothing much achieved.
Own a hdb, have a naughty girl, stable job, loving husband. Enough? Don't know.
Am I greedy? No. Satisfaction is not there.
Feel very bad recently. Emotional. Keep thinking how to mingle with elderly. I cant read her mind. Maybe she has homesick, maybe she doesn't have anyone to talk to? I felt she is scary. Horrible. I don't know, I am lost in handling the situation. I want to escape. There is no way for me to run away.
Suddenly I realised why there is an increase of psy pt in hospital recently... No where to go, stay in a cage, can't vent their anger out.

I am 😔, very much. Please. Help me. 

Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Felt so Touched and so much love

Yup, yesterday was the day marks the real end of my single life.
I finally married.
After gathering the two families together to have a proper meal, talk about the wedding ceremony plan, dowry exchanged, I'M MRS LI like OFFICIALLY
Felt so much love and so touched after the dinner.
Wondering why...
Lots of funny thinking keep running through my mind.
It's like everything is finally coming to the end, the very end.
Maybe sigh of relief.

AND YUP
I'm working very hard on my last assignment for my degree course!
I'm writing this is To record this unforgettable moment of my entire life.
Yup, I hope I do my parents proud.
Although I'm very naughty, disobey you all sometimes, but, my love is always for you two.
 I'm loving you, papa and mama. I'm the type of person always act on my words. I hope you two can understand me.
The main purpose of doing this course is not that I want that degree so much, I really really wanted to make you all proud of me. Although I pregnant throughout my degree journey, but, I believed I had juggling them very well, be it my work, my baby and my school work.

Finally, I achieved these milestones before I turned 30 years old.
everything paid off.
I made it though I'm slowER than anyone else.
Remember, 'Slow is better than Never'
I guess, it will be the quote my life and it is going to be something I will tell my baby girl.

Saturday, October 7, 2017

久违了...

hi, 发霉的部落格...
你好,今天发文的是一个新手妈妈。
对的,小可可在我的肚子里已经37周啦~
再多一下下,可可妞就要出世与我们见面啦~
真的五味杂陈的感觉啊~

结婚,读大学,生女儿
几乎这些人生里程碑都在悄悄地完成了
生了可可妞,我可以停一停脚步好好享受与肥仔的世界了

有了自己的宝宝,喜忧参半
喜是终于有了自己的小家庭
忧是因为不确定能否当个好妈妈

不管怎样,兵来将挡水来土掩
我就好好疼爱我的宝贝可可
好好的爱她

Monday, August 29, 2016

久违了

2016年过了一大半,我也当了九个月的人妻。
八月是个鸭梨山大的一个月....开始上学了
阔别两年重拾课本确实不容易
回到学校的日子感触意外良多
看着一群群的青少年在学校里七上八下地进入考场,我也仿佛回到了那天....
自己单枪匹马来到陌生的地方,来上这个以后会左右我未来的护理课程
时间过得真的好快
我们真的老了好多
而今天
我也来考试了,考了practical test。
或许太久没有这样了,或许昨晚的闹肚子,或许昨晚的伤风发烧,或许睡不好
搞到自己居然考得一塌糊涂
老师还丢了我一句“are you confident"
刹那间真没听懂他说什么
完全完全空白一片
此时此刻的我真的很后悔也很懊恼为毛自己那么差劲
老天,请您看在我那么上进,那么不怕死地报上学士这门课程,请您帮帮我嘛……
我真的很想戴四方帽,很想拿到学士这个学位啊!


我想这里会是我目前最好发泄的地方了……我真的不懂要怎么宣泄情绪啊!
必须假装坚强,乐观吗?我不是想把自己的坏情绪夸大,真的很想发泄,很想念以前的自己,那个可以大哭一场又没人看见又不需要别人安慰的自己……

打完了,心情好了……
我会加油的,一定!(握拳)

Friday, December 25, 2015

25.12.2015

2015年对我来说过得很充实。
没想到我在24岁跟这个男人订下终身. =)
我选择在今天留下笔迹,好好记下这个重要的决定. :)
这是一个很快很匆忙的又是最后两个月内做的决定。
我看我是觉得自己已经离不开他了,结婚也只是迟早的事,倒不如就在今年“解决”它吧!哈哈
是的,每个人都误以为我怀孕了才想结婚。其实不然,我们很早的时候就想结婚了。
结婚可能对每个女生的定义不同。
我曾经想过有个很梦幻的婚礼,但过后我才发现原来什么梦幻的婚礼都不重要,重要的是我的婚礼有我重要的人出现就好了:)
轻轻的笔画在结婚证书上签下了跟他缘定终身,永不分离的誓言。每一笔都要付出代价。
即开心又难过的心情一直涌现。
开心的是“啊!我终于嫁得出去了!而且还是我很爱的人!”
难过的是“我得正式地跟爸爸妈妈分开,跟我选择的男人生活了”
心情真的很复杂!
29天的人妻生活今天正式开始了。
我的圣诞愿望就是>>爸妈哥妹的身体健康,出入平安,朝举的健康我来管,我的幸福他来管就好了!
真的要求不多。
简单平凡的生活就好,不求荣华富贵,只愿与你相濡以沫。

真的好爱你 <3 p="">

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

=/

是不是把该忙的东西忙完了
暂时让自己放松,却也让自己多了“胡思乱想”的机会?
手头上的东西都告一段落了,负债的我也终于可以松一口气
看起来,我算是人生的“小赢家”吧?
只是,为什么总觉得空空的?
是不是把“等到花儿也谢了”听了N遍,心情也跟着低落了起来?
其实我理应什么烦恼都没有,只是为什么就是找不到让自己开心起来的理由呢?
为什么?为什么?
明明有很多开心的事都快发生,却少了跟朋友一起欢呼/疯狂的感觉..
是因为她们都知道这些都是预料之事么?
是不是来个反差才会让她们大吃一惊?
我真的太无聊了啦...